Cafe Diem with Tina Ann

Choosing Happiness

Isn't it funny how some people seem to be able to find happiness no matter what is going on in their life while it seems to escape the grasp of others who have much to be happy about. I guess it all goes back to what Abraham Lincoln said so long ago..."Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be".  If happiness is a choice, why does everyone not choose to be happy all the time? I think it's because most folks don't realize they have a choice. Many are waiting for the right things to happen, the right decisions to be made, the right ending to their pursuits to come to fruition in order to be happy. 

To me, that seems like you have to wait a long time and depend on circumstances over which you may not have any control before you can be happy.....instead of simply choosing to be happy no matter what, because life is precious, because you have so many gifts and blessings that to not be happy or to insist you must have more or have something specific before you can be happy seems ungrateful. 

Of course every moment of life cannot be euphoric, that intense happiness that is achieved for but brief moments in life, like when a child is born or you are standing on top of the mountain you have just climbed. Those moments are to be cherished and savored. But what about every other moment. What about standing in line at the grocery store, braiding your daughters hair, fixing dinner, lying in bed watching TV....what stops you from being happy every moment? 

When I ask myself that question, I realize I am quite happy at those moments, I just sometimes forget to acknowledge that I am blessed to be able to afford groceries, that precious moments spent with your children make-up the often recalled memories of childhood, that doing things for your family is a gift of grace you are privileged to be able to offer those you love, that lying in bed at night after a full day of work or play and simply knowing you don't have to do anything else until the next day is the chance to recount and reflect on all the ways your life is what you have made it (and if it is not,  another chance tomorrow to do so)....just a choice....nothing more than from what perspective you observe from....it is the grace of life that every moment of every day is a chance to choose to look at what is or what is not, what you have or what you don't have. Every time I choose happiness, it is mine to keep or let go of.

It's up to you to remember your choice.....choose happiness whenever you can....and the secret is, you can choose it every time. Then, once you choose happiness, and realize it's always right there waiting for you to grab it, you will cherish it, nurture it and be always vigilant of who and what you will allow to take it away from you......The great part is, it's always up to you and only you. No one can give it to you but even better, no one can take it away......Make up your mind to be happy today. It's easy, it's free and it is the Grace of Life.

The Legend of Midnight Thanksgiving.....a true story

We knew dinner would be served late that year….that was the plan. All the family and guests, about 20 in total (of course with 5 kids, boyfriends, girlfriends and family friends we are always a party onto ourselves), would go to other family Thanksgiving celebrations during the day and end up at our house for the evening feast. The plan was to eat around 8pm, plenty of time for all to visit with other families and arrive in time for dinner.

The table was set, and the guests began arriving. We had decided to deep-fry our turkey that year, something we had not tried before. We borrowed the turkey deep-fryer from a friend and set it up on the patio. The oil started to heat up, but wouldn’t quite hit the target temp, but we acted on faith and went ahead and put the turkey in the oil and waited for our crispy brown skinned delicious fried turkey.

We waited……checking on the turkey every 10 min or so…..For some reason, the turkey did not brown up right away…. The house was filled with guests, who were very understanding, and not all that hungry, as most had already had one Thanksgiving dinner earlier that day. No big deal if we ate a little later than planned.

The company and the conversation were spirited. Everyone was enjoying himself or herself, immersed in dialogue, mostly with someone they did not know. The turkey continued to fry, but sadly, the skin was yellow, shiny and fatty looking, not at all appetizing…..perhaps it just needed more time…… the rest of the dinner was ready and waiting in the oven…….meanwhile, inside, we just opened another bottle of wine and continued talking and laughing and having a great time.

By now, it was 10pm and the crowd was getting restless, not to mention hungry. A few more folks who were only coming by for dessert showed up, surprised we had not eaten dinner yet. The crowd was growing…..the assembled guests were a diverse crowd, from different age groups, backgrounds and political affiliations. The music blared and the conversations continued. A few folks laid down for a quick nap, others played video games or watched TV. We gave periodic updates on the turkey, but the news was not encouraging. The guests were hungry but gracious to our dilemma, (well, mostly gracious…..)

At 11pm, the turkey was still not brown, but still boiling away in the oil….so we opened more wine, and had more discussion, more laughter, a few disagreements and one or two serious arguments broken up by close by-standers. Everyone had been out to the patio and offered their opinion or advice on the turkey…….. Finally, it was determined that we had some sort of pressure problem. It was corrected and walla! Within a short time and we had a beautiful crispy brown turkey.

The rest of dinner was a bit crispy too by now, but everyone sat down to the large L shaped table that took up the majority of the Living and Dining Rooms, including those who thought they were only coming for dessert. We said our grace, mostly thankful to have a brown turkey, and dove in.

Our late night Thanksgiving meal was delicious (of course we were all starving and had consumed between us more than 14 bottles of wine). Dinner was raucous, crazy, messy and of course included a spat or two. (Some were getting on each other’s nerves by now, but all disputes ended in good-natured laughter and/or hugs and “I love you, man!”s.)

After dinner, no one wanted to leave, in spite of the fact that it was now closing in on 2am. We all hugged and laughed and knew no one would ever forget this Thanksgiving. Word about that night spread far and wide and the following year, friends who had not been there called and begged to be invited to, what is now fondly referred to, as “Midnight Thanksgiving”.

Lessons learned:

Ø       Practice new cooking techniques before the big night

Ø       Make sure there is enough wine on hand

Ø       Plan to cook the big dinner for a reasonable number of friends and family members

Ø       Oh yeah, invite the big crowd for coffee and dessert!

So, if you can make it, you are invited to stop by the Neukirch house after your own family Turkey Day Celebration and enjoy coffee, aperitif, pie and what I promise will be a loud, crazy, fun and intellectually stimulating end to the day. “Midnight Thanksgiving” lives on (sans the turkey). For those of you who are not in town or who cannot make it, Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family!

The Legend of Midnight Thanksgiving...........You are invited to stop by the Neukirch house after your own family Turkey Day Celebration and enjoy coffee, aperitif, pie and what I promise will be a loud, crazy, fun and intellectually stimulating end to the day. “Midnight Thanksgiving” lives on (sans the turkey). For those of you who are not in town or who cannot make it, Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family and hoping you are creating your own family legend!